Too close
by Planetar
Summary: Liara has lost Shepard once and isn't counting times when she almost lost her anymore. But what happens when the situation is turned?


We've all saw what happens when Liara looses Shepard... or comes close to it. With this one, I wanted to explore what happens the other way... when Shepard almost looses Liara. This was triggered by playing Insanity perhaps a bit too much. I love Liara, but damn, does she goes down quick on Insanity. With some tinkering, this was borne.

Many thanks to Yestare70 for all the helpful comments and editing. As you may imagine, comments(positive or negative) are much welcomed.

Everything was dark and her head felt heavy. That was before she realized her eyes were closed. Deciding against opening them for the moment, she tried to recall how she got here... and where **here **was in the first place.

She was lying down, somewhere soft and warm. A bed, most likely. Ok, that's the first step. A slow, beeping sound coming from her right. That one was a little harder to pinpoint. No equipment in her office made sound like that and while Shepard had some dubious taste in music, she was never much into that stuff that was known as rap, down on Earth. So if it wasn't her office and not Shepard's cabin, what was left?

After a couple of moments, with nothing coming to her mind, she tried something new. That is, what was the last thing she remembered before this... predicament. She recalled the dinner in the Normandy's mess hall with Garrus explaining something about calibrating the Thanix cannons. So totally Garrus. There was also something between Vega and Javik, something about biotics versus weapons? She couldn't recall clearly, but she knew a good laugh was had.

That was not all. She also recalled being in her office, reading the latest updates on the Crucible. The next memory brought a smile to her lips, as she saw Shepard entering her office, looking regal and that mischievous smirk on her lips. She vaguely recalled their conversation about the mission they were to partake on the following day...

The mission! They were supposed to go to Lessus, and explore the Ardat-Yakshi monastery. They arrived there, she, Shepard and Vega, she recalled that much. She also recalled the bloodcurdling screams, but beyond that, she was drawing a blank.

A weak groan escaped from her lips and she tried to lift her arm to scratch her forehead. That's when another revelation presented itself to her. Apparently, there was some sort of tube inserted into her arm, if the feeling was anything to go by. But before she could ponder on this development any longer, she felt her palm being squeezed by a warm hand, followed by a quiet voice.

"Try not to move."

"Shepard?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"What... what happened? Where am I?"

A soft sigh escaped from commander's lips. "In a medbay, back on the Normandy. There were... complications."

That was enough to finally get Liara to open her eyes, which she immediately regretted, as the world swam before her. Good thing she was lying down, or she would have fallen for sure. After closing them again and taking a few moments to compose herself, she was ready to speak. "So, are you going to tell me what happened? And why do I feel like I was drugged?"

She heard a small chuckle escaping Shepard's lips. "Probably because you were." She couldn't see it, but just by the change of the tone of her voice, Liara knew Shepard's face got serious again. "You were sleeping for almost an entire day."

Liara felt a cold sense of fear settling in the pit of her stomach at those words. "Shepard, would you stop scaring me and tell me what happened?"

Silence reigned for almost a minute, before the sound of a chair being pushed back was heard. Only second after that, Shepard's lips descended on her forehead. "Not yet. Dr. Chakwas says you need some more time and it wouldn't do to upset you. Have some sleep, let the medications clear from your system and I'll be back to you first thing in the morning. Then we can discuss everything."

Under usual circumstances, Liara's first instinct would be to protest. But strangely enough, as soon as Shepard was done talking, she felt strange weariness washing over her. As she yawns, she could almost she Shepard smiling again. "Promise you won't let me wait for too long?"

When the warm hand descends on her crest and Shepard strokes it gently, it takes all of Liara's willpower not to purr happily, her current predicament be damned. "You can count on it, Blueberry. Now sleep tight and sweet dreams."

Come morning, Liara was already awake when Shepard walked into medbay. When the asari noted the plate with food in Shepard's hands, she was quickly reminded of just how hungry she was, if the rumbling of her stomach was anything to go by. Strangely enough, even the chow from Normandy's mess seemed appealing right now.

It didn't take long for her lover to cross the distance between them. When she set the plate on the bed and pulled a chair closer, Liara took a good look at the woman in front of her. And when she did, the hunger passed away just like that.

The dark bags under Shepard's eyes were a testimony to lack of sleep. What was even more alarming were the red glowing scars, criss-crossing the plains of Shepard's face, as if her implants were flaring up wildly. For a woman known for her mild nature, this was an alarming development. Raising one shaking hand, she touched the face of the woman she loved.

"Shepard..."

The hand that covered hers was shaking just a little. "I'm all right. Now eat something."

Frowning and removing her hand, the asari shook her head. "Don't lie to me Shepard. It is very obvious to me you are **not **all right." Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she continued. "Please... tell me what's wrong."

Shepard eyes locked with hers, as if trying to read something that wasn't there. After a couple of moments, when the silence became almost unbearable, she bowed her head and exhaled softly.

"I nearly lost you."

The words were spoken barely above a whisper, but in the all encompassing silence of the med-bay, they were heard easily. And the broken quality of Shepard's voice was enough to send shivers down Liara's spine. "What are you talking about?"

It took Shepard some time to respond, filling the room with more uneasy silence. Pulling one hand through her hair, she looked almost frustrated with herself, being unable to form any coherent sentence. Eventually, she let her hand drop and took Liara's hand in her own. "Back there in the monastery, when that... thing showed up... it was like you were paralyzed. You just stood there, watching it... doing nothing. Even when it..." The commander's voice broke again and it took several moments before she could continue. "...when it grabbed you, there was no reaction from you. It was like you... gave up. It was... painful to see, to say in the least. The shudder that shook the commander's body might as well have been involuntarily and all the more painful because of it. Anybody that knew the woman knew she would never allow herself such show of weakness, if she could help it.

"Shepard, you're not making any sense. Can you please slow down and tell me what happened?"

The speed with which the commander's face shot up was a little frightening, as was the look in her eyes. "You mean... you don't remember?"

Letting out a deep sigh, the asari shook her head. "By the Goddess Shepard, my mind draws a blank every time I try to recall anything about that day. I can't come up with anything for the life of me. So please... talk to me."

The mix of emotions playing on Shepard's face was fascinating to watch, as was trying to decode which one would ultimately prevail. It came as no small dissapointement when the human finally spoke up again. "I can't Liara... but I can show you. But I warn you, the experience will be anything but pleasant."

After a couple of moments, the realization dawned on Liara. Nodding her consent, the two women linked their hands together and Liara's eyes went obsidian in color as she searched for the mind of her bondmate.

There was a noticable level of resistance on Shepard's part this time when melding. Fear for Liara, mixed with self loathing gave the asari a moment of pause. However, she quickly collected herself, before going deeper. Slowly, the memories she was looking for started to surface.

The entry to the monastery... the corpses of cannibals... the horrible screams in the distance... the great hall, in all it's splendor...

The deeper the memory went, the more Shepard's unease grew. Like an omnipresent fog, it pressed down on Liara, making it almost hard to breathe.

The oppressive feeling doubled in strength when the banshee made her apperance. It wasn't her appearance, Liara figured out, disturbing as it may be. It was her own presence that almost made the great warrior tremble in fear. When the two figures met and the larger one lifted the smaller one effortlesly, her long claws dragging along one of the asari's arms, leaving a trail of blue blood in it's wake.

This was followed by a single bullet, piercing the skull of the monster. Seeing herself being flung across the room was an experience Liara was sure she would remember for the rest of her life. Given the length of it and the less than pleasant nature of the memory itself, Liara wasn't sure how happy she was about it.

The slight tug of Shepard's mind brought her out of her idle musing. Reluctantly, she let the meld end. The haze lifted from her eyes, she looked into the eyes of the other woman, only to see them swimming in unshed tears. Bringing her hand up and wiping the tears away before they could be spilt, she knew she needed to say something.

"So I'm guessing that's where I got my new cool scar?"

The surprise on the commander's face was plain as day, as she made a double take, hardly believing that her bondmate was able to joke after what she just witnessed. Her voice came out slightly strangled when she spoke up again. "Liara..."

It was now the asari's turn to sigh. "Shepard, everything ended all right. We are both alive, the mission was a success, what more do you want?"

Shepard's face was once again a mix of emotions, but she soon got them under control and spoke again. Taking Liara's hand in her own and squeezing it gently, she broke the short silence. "Liara... I want you to stay on board from now on."

To say that the Shadow Broker was stunned would be an understatement. There rarely wasn't a mission to which Shepard **wouldn't **take her. And now, she was suggesting quite the opposite? This wouldn't stand, she told herself, as she felt an undercurrent of anger flowing inside her.

"And why do you think that's a good idea Shepard?"

"Liara... I want to keep you safe. And I would rest much easier knowing you're out of danger's way."

"Is that so?" Liara wasn't surprised when she found her biotics flaring spontaneously. "Have you ever considered about **my **feeling? How well do **I **sleep?!"

The outbreak suprised the commander, who was taken aback with this new side of her lover, previously unseen. "Honey, try to understand..."

"Don't you "honey" me! I've seen you shot, I've seen you bludgeoned... for Goddess's sake Shepard, I watched you **die**! And during all that time, I've never asked you to stop, to give it a break. And now you're asking me that? You have a lot of nerve!" Tears were streaming down asari's cheeks now. "All I want is to be close to you Shepard. It might not mean a lot to you, but it means a world to me, knowing I can help you... keep you safe... what little help I can offer."

Unable to mantain the eye contact any longer, her eyes dropped to her lap, at loss for words. Thus the touch on her crest came as a surprise. Looking up again, she found those beautiful eyes looking at her, filled with love. "Liara... there are no words to describe how much you help me, just by being there for me. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even be alive. Don't sell yourself short... you make all the difference in the galaxy for me."

Swallowing thickly, the asari spoke again. "And yet, you want to leave me behind."

"For your own safety."

"Shepard, if I can help keeping you safe, that's all I want. Please, don't leave me like that."

The eye contact was maintaned for a while longer, before the commander nodded slowly. "All right. Just... don't do that to me anymore? Think you can keep yourself closer to me from now on?"

Smiling fondly, the asari didn't find her answer difficult. "That shouldn't be a problem. Besides..." her smile grew only bigger, "...admit you like it."

"The scar? Very much so. Though if you continue like this, you might get Garrus jealous."


End file.
